Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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