But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize