Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
