We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize