i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
