1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Mom said you looked used
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize