my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
