I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
