Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The air taste purple.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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