The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Will exercising make me less horny?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
