I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
