He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
