I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
