New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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