jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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