let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
