Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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