Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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