Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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