oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
