STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize