Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
