my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
