Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
