He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
