Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize