You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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