I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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