I wanna bring you to show and tell
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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