i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
