Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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