apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
