i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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