Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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