When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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