4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
