3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
