I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize