After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this beer tastes like vomit already
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
