cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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