I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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