you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
