went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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