She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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