If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
