He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
