btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
