Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
