Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
