FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
