Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
