The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
