I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
