Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
