Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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