New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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