Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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