FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize