Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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