I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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