i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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