btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
