Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
