At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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