Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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