i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Success! We fucked roommates!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
