Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
