Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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