I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
