So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
