We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
