Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
