So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
