i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
