discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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