They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize