I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
