I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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