Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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