Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
