I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
