oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
