the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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