That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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