I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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